looking back a year with Jacob

January is filled with cowboy and small cars plus trophy

February with some shiny lights        

March hard to leave pieces of our heart behind

April filled with stone houses and ancestors that crawl out of the water and 
a fading sound of the happy b day song



























May with blue men and slippery cold water small Eiffel tower and wonderful sandy 
caves and trains that lead to an even more grand canyon

                                                               

June 

friends family out of this world geek-athon a beautiful sunset and some 
naughty small and big dogs and Mid-evil times comes to say hello 







July speeding across the water or taking it slow and steady in a duck or roasting 
marshmallows on a fire or the funny logo driving down the road

August once tallest building is medium stone men big trees fire on the beachstone troll,planes,grand parents and cousins

September old forts just about forgotten people who lived there only little 
traces and there are some Goonies and a hey stack rock with some subs and some cheese

October atvs on sand big foots home long tunnels big pumpkins and a prison said to be 
un-escapable proven rong

November animals stuck in there slow doom some birds with some wierd 
personality and a big Hero with some stars.

San Fran Baby!

One of the best parts about this lifestyle is getting the chance to spend more time with friends and family, and California has been no exception!
I was able to have lunch with three other members of our outstanding fifth grade team from 2007! It just so happened that Evelyn Frantz and Beth Douglas were both living and working in CA. Jane Owen and her husband Terry met us out on the road a couple weeks back and we were all traveling together.  We all had lunch and had a great time catching up. It was fantastic to be together.

A few days later we rode the train into San Francisco with Jane and Terry. They hung out and explored the pier while we took a tour of Alcatraz. It was a fantastic tour, well worth the cost! We took a water taxi over to the island. It's a national park so of course, we had to GET A BADGE!!!!
The boys claim this was their very favorite tour. I have to agree, it was very intense, and the format was fantastic. Upon arriving in the prison each person is given a headset with an audio tour.

Isn't he special???

The tour is narrated but also has background noises added in that make it feel very realistic.There were many times I turned around looking for the closing cell door!We saw first hand the tools they used to try and break out, to SUCCEED in breaking out and learned how to make a shiv! Yay for homeschool!

This is one of the dummy heads they made for the escape! Creepy!!!

We were able to go into the solitary confinement cells and well as the regular cells. We saw the visitation area and toured the grounds. 
    While there we were able to see an art installation by artist Ai Weiwei who is a Chinese artist and activist. His work speaks to the time he spent imprisoned and focuses on freedom of expression. The pieces were amazing, clearly but the way they utilized legos to create the pictures of prisoners of conscious was genius. At the end we were able to send postcards to prisoners of consciousness from around the world. It was a fantastic learning experience for the whole family and had a huge impact on us.

Caution, Small animal crossing

When you allow a small animal into your life, it’s easy to miss the mundane burrows they create. And then, one day, they are gone and the holes are profound and surprising. Open the garage door and there is a small step to the left just in case the dog is making a run for it. Take a walk to the mailbox as it’s multi-tasking, the dog needs walking anyway. At the store, use the plastic bags to use as dog poop bags. Watch the chair when you put the recliner down, don’t squash her. Something drops on the floor, it will be caught by the household vacuum with four legs.

   But tonight, her bed sits empty. And I wonder why it is still here; doesn’t anyone else find it painful to look at? I feel horrible, I need my dog to comfort me and she is gone. No ears perk up when a chip bag rattles. No one needs to be reminded to fill the bowl or let her out. There is a huge hole, surrounded by tiny burrows, places she gradually inserted herself into my life and now there is nothing. It’s the images I was most afraid of, going in. And for good reason. Instead of continuing to feel such gratitude as I did when she was gone, I feel haunted. 

At the time, I communicated my gratitude to the Dr. It was peaceful, it was dignified. But those feelings slipped way with the hours. Now, flashes of her vacant black eyes replace the moment before it, when we were nose to nose and I was telling her, showing her, willing her my gratitude for the part she played in the last 5 years of my life. And instead of the lovely memory of her relaxed and slow breathing, finally less labored,  I am filled with the memory of the smell of her bacon treats that she threw up on my lap as the anesthesia moved through her.

     It was so fast, I had to ask, “Is she gone? Is she gone?” while my outstretched hand searched for her hitching side. As if there were something left unsaid, as if I hadn’t quite said all I needed to. But of course I did, I told her with her last breath that she was a good girl, and that I loved her, that she was the best dog and I would see her soon. And that she was a good dog… And thank you.

    And now I am left with the grief and the images and it’s my job to be left with those because she was my dog. My sweet, lovely, faithful companion who loved me in a way only a dog can. Tomorrow maybe I’ll see the joy and the beauty of a life well spent but today not even wine and carbs can make this okay. Beware letting small animals into your life. It isn’t for the feint of heart.