Caution, Small animal crossing

When you allow a small animal into your life, it’s easy to miss the mundane burrows they create. And then, one day, they are gone and the holes are profound and surprising. Open the garage door and there is a small step to the left just in case the dog is making a run for it. Take a walk to the mailbox as it’s multi-tasking, the dog needs walking anyway. At the store, use the plastic bags to use as dog poop bags. Watch the chair when you put the recliner down, don’t squash her. Something drops on the floor, it will be caught by the household vacuum with four legs.

   But tonight, her bed sits empty. And I wonder why it is still here; doesn’t anyone else find it painful to look at? I feel horrible, I need my dog to comfort me and she is gone. No ears perk up when a chip bag rattles. No one needs to be reminded to fill the bowl or let her out. There is a huge hole, surrounded by tiny burrows, places she gradually inserted herself into my life and now there is nothing. It’s the images I was most afraid of, going in. And for good reason. Instead of continuing to feel such gratitude as I did when she was gone, I feel haunted. 

At the time, I communicated my gratitude to the Dr. It was peaceful, it was dignified. But those feelings slipped way with the hours. Now, flashes of her vacant black eyes replace the moment before it, when we were nose to nose and I was telling her, showing her, willing her my gratitude for the part she played in the last 5 years of my life. And instead of the lovely memory of her relaxed and slow breathing, finally less labored,  I am filled with the memory of the smell of her bacon treats that she threw up on my lap as the anesthesia moved through her.

     It was so fast, I had to ask, “Is she gone? Is she gone?” while my outstretched hand searched for her hitching side. As if there were something left unsaid, as if I hadn’t quite said all I needed to. But of course I did, I told her with her last breath that she was a good girl, and that I loved her, that she was the best dog and I would see her soon. And that she was a good dog… And thank you.

    And now I am left with the grief and the images and it’s my job to be left with those because she was my dog. My sweet, lovely, faithful companion who loved me in a way only a dog can. Tomorrow maybe I’ll see the joy and the beauty of a life well spent but today not even wine and carbs can make this okay. Beware letting small animals into your life. It isn’t for the feint of heart.

On down the Oregon Coast

I have to interrupt! THANK YOU to my amazing husband for keeping up with the BLOG! I am working non-stop between school with the boys, my seasonal work with a college app review company, (Beth Garst, you are a life saver!!!!) and trying to launch TWO of my own business'! Alan is doing an amazing job, I so appreciate it. I am madly in love with Oregon, so there is a good chance you'll notice a significant droning on my part in the future about it! I am hoping to return to that state in the near future for a longer stay. I have FINALLY talked Alan into the idea of a yurt, he is still dragging his feet on the bee and llama farm but I will WEAR HIM DOWN!

Shout out to Nancy for the special treat she gave us to experience Oregon on her behalf! The boys and I went to the seaside hotel, "Inn at Spanish Head" and had a fancy lunch and talked about how lucky we are to her, her family and all of you in our lives. We are filled with gratitude! Ok, gotta get back to work! Things will slow down with the editing job around Thanksgiving and I'll get back into the blogging mode! Until then, I am writing a FAQ piece so send me your questions!!!! Also, come check out my learningpathfinder page on Facebook!


On that note, we stopped again on the Oregon coast town of Newport where even though I had to work, Laura and the boys went to see a few things. We could see the wonderful bridge over the bay from our trailer. They visited the Hatfield Marine Science Center just down the road from the RV park where the boys got to touch more sea creatures. Our next stop was Florence Oregon where we visited one of several lighthouses on this trip. Heceta Head lighthouse had a wonderful view of the Pacific coast and the Devils Punch Bowl which was just around the corner. On our way down we had to stop at the Tillamook cheese factory and get ice cream and cheese.

Since this trip is all about experiences for us and the kids and to see and do things that we have never experienced it was decided that we were going to spend the extra money to go out and rent dune buggies in the sand dunes on the Oregon coast. I have to say this was one of the highlights of this 15 months just because we could speed all over the dunes. Jacob and I got to ride quads while Laura drove Aiden around in the buggy all the while screaming when they went up and down the dunes. Our last stop in Oregon was a rocky beach where the tide pools were absolutely amazing. We have tried to do this along the Oregon and Washington coasts since we arrived but never seemed to find the right area or missed the tide. This spot had so many sea stars, crabs and harbor seals that we spent a good 2 hours walking down the beach checking out the wildlife.

What a wonderful summer in the north west.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!!!

Astoria Bridge

Astoria Column

After our wonderful stay in Washington we have finally moved to the coast of Oregon. Our first stop was Seaside which is just down the road from one of our favorite places, Astoria. This is the city where the movies Goonies and Kindergarten Cop were filmed. This is where Laura is begging that we come to live for a while after we go off the road. Since we have not seen a winter in this part of the country yet I am still not sure. The coast from Astoria to Newport really is beautiful and is in the top 5 places I would like to settle for a while. We drove over the Astoria bridge into Washington to check out a couple state parks over the river and went out to the Astoria Column to throw balsam wood gliders and watched them for about 10 minutes while they glided on the currents.

Astoria Sea Lions

Goonies House

Next stop for the Hamilton Clan was the Goonie's house, where a nice man from Germany took our family photo. We ran across town and checked out the jail house and got to see the vehicle from the movie which we watched our first night in the area.

The car from the movie with the bullet holes! See our traveling friends too? That is the Traviglino Clan, so fun to travel with others!

Fort Clatsop

Lewis & Clark National Park

We took a couple hours to learn more about one of grandpa Hay's favorite topics  Lewis & Clark. Now we have been to this area of Oregon several times over the past 8 years but this is the first time we had spent so much time. When we were here the last at Fort Clatsop, the boys were younger and we got a picture with Sacajawea which I wish I had with me.

Rollin down the River

Seaside Beach

Haystack Rock

Laura and I had a great lunch in Seaside several years ago and during this trip we took a walk by that restaurant and around downtown. We stopped at the end of the street where you could walk out on the beach and check out the sea life. We were also able to run down to Cannon Beach to check out Haystack Rock where they filmed another part of the Goonies. We walked along the beach for a couple of hours and then had a great bowl of CHOW DA at one of Oregon's staple restaurants, Mo's. We stopped at ever Mo's in Oregon on this trip just because we love the chowder that much.

We had to take several trips into Portland while staying in Seaside due to a computer drive going bad and having to go back and forth to get it repaired. While in Portland we checked out the legendary food trucks which are spread out all over down town. We also went to Voodoo Donuts for a dozen and Stepping Stone Cafe for some 12" pancakes. now I know you are wondering about that stuffed dog, that is the Full Time Families mascot Rambler which families take on their outings for the web page. We stopped a the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry where we took a tour of the first fast attack sub the USS Blue Back. I think the boys thought this was a pretty cool thing to see but they have seen so many cool things its hard to tell anymore.

USS Blue Back

USS Blue Back interior

First attempt at catching a clam

We visited a couple state parks in the area and saw the remnants of a ship wreck from 1909. The kids got to play on a shipwreck! AMAZING!!!!  Of course had to try our hand at clamming near Cannon Beach which was fun but non productive. People who sell the gear should be required to give tourists information like, it is not a negative tide so you won't be able to get to the clams! That is great information that one should know before adventuring out. not to say it wasn't a great sunset and a blast to try but we came up empty. Don't worry about us though, we got clam chowder at Mo's to ease the pain.

Cool shipwreck at Fort Stevens State Park

Mt Saint Helens

After leaving Seattle we took a quick trip south to see Mt Saint Helens before heading to the coast of Oregon. One of my memories from childhood was a trip that dad, James and I took to Oregon after the eruption in the 80's to gather some of the ash. This National Monument was really cool to see 30 years later and the fact that it is still active made it even more interesting. Of course there was a badge for this great park that the boys were able to get by helping the ranger demonstrate how this volcano blew out. We spent the day with the Traviglino's and the Arnold's here and had yet another wonderful day

Nana & Papa Bob

After a couple weeks relaxing on the beach we came back up to Auburn, outside of Seattle, where we spent time with Nana and Papa Bob. They are staying in their 5th Wheel here for the summer before going back to Arizona. They keep the rig on Bobs good friends property Joe and Sue who were gracious enough to let us park next to them and spend over a week visiting.

Our first outing was with Nana and Papa to the Seattle Aquarium where we were able to see and touch a bunch of sea creatures from the area. Jacob and Aiden tried to get eaten by an octopus during our walk through of the aquarium.

After the aquarium we took a walk over the Ferris wheel where the boys and Papa went up and took some great shots of the city before having a wonderful lunch of seafood.

While we were visiting we took a trip back into the city with our friends the Traviglino's to see the troll under the bridge and have lunch at a sushi restaurant around the corner. Just down from that was a site of statues that people dress up and take pictures in front of so of course we needed to do it ourselves.

We had a great visit with the other Hamilton clan while with Nana and Papa and got to spend some great time with my brother, sister in-law and our niece and nephew.

We took a day trip to the aircraft museum where the kids were able to see a life size space shuttle and walk through several planes including the Air Force One that Kennedy used and a retired Concord jet. This museum also housed several aircraft from WWI and WWII which were awesome. The one great plane we got to see was one of the WWII bombers that Laura's grandfather flew in during the war.