Modern Nomads: Ranch Parade

Watching my children flourish at the ranch is fantastic. Jacob loves getting up at the crack of dawn to let all the dogs out and they follow around behind him like a fourth of July parade. First is always Dually, or Doo-bug. He is the LARGEST yellow lab in existence and the very definition of a gentle giant. His huge head comes up to Jacob’s ribs and he follows everywhere with a dopey love look on his face. Right up until someone comes up the drive and then he becomes the most terrifying of spectacles. Needless to say we feel very safe with a dog that is both a pillow and the terminator. Next in line is our Bridgeeta who has taken to ranch life and is constantly covered in a grim layer of horse poo. She is loving her current surroundings as the Wild Dog of Borneo. I don’t dare wash her until the day before we leave as I am sure it will only be interpreted as an invitation to roll in more poop. Behind her is Barney, the Basset hound. He is really just the canine version of Aiden. He rarely listens unless it suits him and when scolded he looks away out in the distance as if he is posing for an Olan Mills picture in the 70’s. As a Bassett hound he is really just one long muscle and very strong and thick. He is also under the misconception that he is a lap dog so evening cuddle time is hysterical to watch.

Bringing up the rear is Miss Maggie May. She is ancient and has been kicked by the horses a number of times leaving her hobbling and arthritic but still so indomitably happy that the idea of sending her to the rainbow bridge is unfathomable. She gets whatever she wants from us as we have been smitten from the time she stayed with us 11 years ago as a puppy. She decided to join me in the tub then, I was very pregnant and couldn’t get myself out of the tub much less myself and a water-loving puppy. However, days of hopping into tubs un-invited are long since gone, now she moves her position about the yard and house a few times a day. She hauls herself up to the barn on special occasions to watch the feeding of the horses. She is an incredible shedder and I am certain that one day as we brush her all her remaining hair will fall out and we’ll find a small Chihuahua beneath.

(I am re-watching Downton Abbey and I call her the Dowager Countess, I think she likes it.)

The parade winds its way up the hill to the barn and the pasture. It’s feeding time and Whiskey and Reba meet Jacob at the fence line. They won’t actually eat the hay he throws over, they bypass it for the sweet spring grasses in the next pasture over. But they seem to appreciate the effort and should. Jacob has horrific hay fever and despite a Singular and a Claritan he spends each day here unable to breathe, a snotty mess. It’s a cruel irony that he adores the hay, the animals and entire place but the price he pays for it is his ability to breathe. Still he doesn’t complain a bit, does it gladly and this morning has decided to wash his parade of dogs in the kiddie pool. I can’t see it ending well for any of them.

And where is Aiden in all of this, sound asleep of course. The human version of Barney is meant for the finer things in life. Clearly the joy of ranch life at sunrise is something he would rather leave to the ranch hands. We’ll gladly take it.