Heartbreak hotel.....

“Sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same….”

      

 We had a wonderful time in Missoula. My incredible friends had us over to their home and we had a great dinner, time to chat and I had a little too much fun and had to go home early! But we loved seeing them all and there were tons of kids, the boys had a fabulous time and kept asking to go back all weekend. I fully intended to have a bunch of the Missoula Crew over to the campsight for s’mores but as things sometimes do, life intervened.

     Since the start of planning for this trip we have fretted about the dogs. Molly and Shadow are incredibly well behaved but even at that they are big dogs. And they are family, we got Molly 9 years ago as a puppy and Shadow a year later. The moment I saw Molly at the rescue house I knew she was the one for me. She was the same red color as my childhood dog, Lewie. She was goofy and smooshy and all mine. I had waited three years for her and I loved her onsite. The rescue brought Shadow to our home a year later when we knew that we needed a friend for Molly as we were expecting Aiden. As soon as Shadow met Jacob, we knew it was meant to be. She wouldn’t go down the stairs with her big puppy feet for anyone but him. They have been inseparable ever since.

      We know that being a good pet owner means putting the needs of your pet first, and we can do that on the road for the most part. It’s do-able but it also means we give up a lot of what we wanted to do with the kids to meet the dog’s needs. And packing them into small spaces day after day was clearly wearing on them. So after a day on the lake, in which they splashed and swam and played until they dropped, we had the conversation, AGAIN. And this time the focus became the quality of life for a dog in Mt. My parents are part of a “retriever club” that in essence creates a little piece of heaven on earth for dogs like Molly and Shadow. As we pulled out of Missoula today, we left with heavy hearts, swollen eyes and two less dogs. Two members of the family that we love enough to do the right thing for. Trying to nurse my own broken heart and watching the kids grieve last night while clutching the dogs to their chests was torture. Watching Jacob cry himself to sleep with one arm around Shadow was one of the worst experiances of my parenting life. But he understands why.  Aiden, not so much. For now they are with my parents but there is a wonderful woman who just lost her own Molly that goes to the club each day. And there is a family who is looking for a hunting dog, ready to bring out Shadow’s inner hunter, and she would see my Dad each weekend they hunt. Splitting them up feels like a betrayal and gives me the most angst but I am trusting that things are working out the way they need to, and I’ll see them both at the Rainbow Bridge at the end and tell them how very grateful I am to them for their love and companionship. The boys are being given the impression that the dogs are going to stay with my parents and we will fill them in on the full story once they are placed in loving homes.
Today is not a happy day for the Traveling Hamilton’s. We are nursing our heartbreak but pushing forward in the knowledge we have done what is best for those we love.

I apologize for any errors in this, I can’t bring myself to re-read it for mistakes at this point. More, happier, news from the road soon!

L.